I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
