I love black thongs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize