Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
