I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
