woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
