Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
