Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
