i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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