pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
