I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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