She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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