i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
