she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
