i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
