remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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