O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
