ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
