I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
