Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
