Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
