Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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