A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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