I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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