She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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