I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
