If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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