take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
