So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
