Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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