mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
