and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
