You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
