im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
one might say we're banned from that church
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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