dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
