how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ok first of all what the fuck
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
