I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
