Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
