Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We need a shit load of segways right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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