We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
