i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
