My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
