marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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