The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
