Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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