did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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