hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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