I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
