he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
