Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
