Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
