You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this just has baby written all over it
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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