Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
