i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
