the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
