This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
