And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
