i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize