All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
