1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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