it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
