wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize