Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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