Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
