3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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