i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
