I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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