they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
