Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
